What is needed for your life to Flow?
Presence to what is, is what's needed. Presence for what *is* in your body, presence to our emotional temperature, presence to our stream of thoughts, and presence to that gentle, subtle little fluttering we might recognize when there is a sudden 'knowing', which comes from another place than the usual chatter of the mind, and is not our normal emotional life either. Some call it the soul, others have other names. Pick your source. In any case, it comes when we are calm and happy, deeply relaxed and feeling safe, and with a sense of order and harmony in the world.
So, in order to be present to the maximum of your abilities, you first need a calm yet engaged nervous system. Too much stress, and it's hard to take in the environment in all its subtlety, in depth: we tend to narrow our focus, and only take in the most salient details. In 'threat-detection' mode, or as Bruce Lipton the biologist, puts it, in defense mode, all our organism is geared towards survival. He explains that cells can only be in two modes: 'defense mode', or 'expansion mode': in too much stress, we often can't see help, even if it's offered to us. In 'expansion' mode, we are able to notice, and to take advantage of, all the opportunities available. We believe we actually have agency, or the power to act on the world and affect it.
So we need to have the conditions in place to even *hear and see* what's going on (in and around us), and to be hopeful enough to be solution-oriented and think we have the power to change things.
How do we get to an empowered state?
For our life to Flow, it starts with thinking in the first place that it's a good idea to treat ourselves well. For many of us, we were raised at the altar of persistence, sacrifice (of short-term well-being, in the perspective of long-term benefit). It is indeed a good idea to have a long-term perspective, but in reality, one third of (American) adults die in the immediate years following retirement. Many spend their lives chasing the next high that money and status can bring, yet when dying, the most common regrets involve not spending enough time with loved ones, and not having had the guts to live one's own truth - rather than what was expected of them.
What would have happened with a little less sacrifice? Wouldn't it be good to be able to plan while still being in the good-feeling flow of life? Can we take informed action without constantly re-traumatizing ourselves with a life of pain? Can there be another way?
I think we can do all the things we deeply need to do, and be connected with the miracle that this life can be - through enjoying the life vibrating in our bodies, pulsating in tune with the whole environment - without the need for alcohol, drugs, or any unsustainable addictions.
So how do we get there?
Put the conditions in place to listen to subtle impulses (a sacred, delineated/timed/spatially secure environment that is dedicated to your well-being - this can be done at home, in a studio, in nature, or at work with noise-canceling headphones on and a quiet visual environment), then following the next best-feeling impulse). Emotions can feel heavy or light, and many shades in between - just start noticing: is this current emotion higher or lower than the previous one? How good do you feel?
How vague/blurry do you feel? How heavy? Or how clear, how bright are you feeling?
How dense and compact do you feel, compared to the more expanded, higher sense of possibility, of optimism?
Where is it located in your body?
Can you progressively bring yourself up?
The idea behind this, is that listening to our deepest, most aligned (body-heart-mind-soul) cue & impulse is good for everyone's deepest self as well - it's good for the whole.
How to deal with heavier emotions
A -BIG- word of caution: this doesn't mean that dark, heavy emotions are 'bad'!
Heavier emotions are part of the scale of life, like all of the emotions, and they have their place, and their role for life to continue to be. When accepted and understood, when their value is seen, when they are able to be loved, they get transmuted, and they get lighter. Shaming or hiding them just makes them bigger: what you resist persists!
So focus on what is stable (gravity dropping us towards the ground, the never-ending wave of the breath, the huge expanse of sky, stars and possibilities our head is attracted to, as the top of our spine, allowing us to remain standing): what doesn't change, even when everything seems dark? When you focus on the well-being of these feeling sensations, you can remain present to heavier emotions in a way that transmutes them.
So let's recap: we put the environment in place (close the doors, focus our attention on listening inside), and then just do the next little thing that brings us (in the words of Esther Hicks) 'Relief, Relief, Relief!'
That's it! Pretty soon, we start noticing our state all the time, knowing it is transitory (everything will pass), and noticing what we can do about it (identifying resources, or ways to get better - at least asking ourselves the question: 'given how I'm feeling now - physically, emotionally, mentally, at the level of soul - what is my next step?'; and we will get the best answer we need. It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be fast, it just needs to be our very own.
