Because it makes you Healthier & Smarter

Integrating Emotion & Reason

When you relax and feel what is, when you let go from shame and blame, and go instead to the validation of your deeper needs/values (with hope & support), your emotion and reason start to communicate, & they act as one (think thick corpus callosum*, or the area that links the two sides of your brain).

*On a side note, the corpus callosum is thicker in women, and grows with mindfulness.

Personal & Relational Safety (being Loved + Free)= Relaxation = Integration of (Emotion + Reason)= Optimal Health & Thinking

Beyond our biases and expectations, when we flexibly move between the range of emotions, safely and lovingly connected, as needed (like babies and children), we recover the health of our system. It is the variability that constitutes (mental, physical, societal) health, the ability to dynamically respond to the situation, to be heard, validated, and then to let go, moved to another level of consciousness expansion.

The ability to feel, express, share, and be supported in one's vulnerability, or to express anger in a safe environment (without hurting anyone, nor being shamed or judged); or the luck to be able to experience full love and celebrate it with people who are happy for you - all of it is emotional hygiene: it lets the system function well, for a long time.

If you ignore/deny an emotion, the value underlying the emotion - the treasure - will keep calling, through various means and life situations, until you dig deep enough to find the treasure (the emotional need, the embodied value)!

When the different sides of you become accessible, when you can relate to different parts of you at once, or move flexibly from one to the other, from a stable core, you are integrated, coherent, and your brain functions as a healthy whole. You have a rich life, you are mentally healthy, because you know all your sides have a point: the rational side, the emotional side, the social, more detached, responsible, adult, free, child-like, etc., all have a purpose. They each operate for the well-being and the balance of your (eco)system, and each has a role to play.

Care for yourself enough to listen to them in compassion (or having somebody else do it/hold the space for you).

Gandhi was able to give hours-long speeches without notes and lead a nation, because, according to his translator, everything he said, he did; his life was one of coherence: everything was tied together. And that happens in relaxation. And relaxation happens when we have made peace with the larger, higher truth: truth is kind, love, compassion, connection, peace.

Interpersonal neurobiology, as researched and defined by Dr. Dan Siegel (watch any of his videos to understand 'What is a healthy mind?') highlights that integration -from a stable, eternal, unshakeable core- is good for your health, energy, and resilience.

Other people have a role to play in raising our awareness of previously unknown parts of the system: our role is to relax, feel, and act from this consciously connected place; and to make sure we make the space for this connection.

One word of caution: if you have experienced trauma (iestimated at 50% of people, we litterally have trauma-inducing societal structures), it might not be easy to relax, and might even be threatening to feel what is here, now. Please have a look here to embrace more of you, so that you know you are valid, and you can protect your self-worth and your dignity, knowing your body & subconscious knows you experienced something overwhelming and disconnecting, and you know your body and subconscious mind is doing exactly what it's supposed to do when you feel safe enough to feel more. Emotional release of long-held tension is healing, when embraced and accompanied, when honored for the connecting human experience it brings (and later, for the sacred message: the treasure!).

Cultural Neuroregulation

What happens in the human experience is that we unconsciously conform to the cultural and relational expectations of people around us (children are in a state of hypnosis until the age of 7: everything comes in unfiltered by personal opinion - they litterally are what people think of them, and this will determine their whole life -unless they deconstruct it later). This can lead to repressed emotional or deeper parts of ourselves, that have nowhere to go but the subconscious, and consume inordinate amounts of energy, just to be kept unconscious; we are drained, litterally - or have a quick fuse, for lack of addressing what's really important to us (because at the time we didn't have the necessary safe, listening, containing social environment of peace, love, awareness, etc. to help us with what was going on). Now it is possible to find therapeutic and mindful settings, to recreate the safety for those long-stuck feelings to come up, and be gently dealt with - so that they reveal the true treasures that they were trying to carry through to our awareness the whole time. They were just waiting for some love, patience, and care.

Starting from a place of Safety, all parts of ourselves (for example, self-control and spontaneity) naturally keep each other balanced (as in upper and lower brain, mediated by the limbic middle brain center -see Dan Siegel's hand-model of the brain here -, where the acceptance of emotional states allows one to move from fight-flight-freeze reptilian reflexes -or ‘lower brain’ to ‘upper brain’ (pre-frontal cortex) nuance, analysis, and planning.

We can co-regulate each other to a stronger immune system, growth, repair, but also bright thinking, creativity and inclusive action: Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory puts light on the fact that social support & health and repair's neural pathways are utilizing the same network: in other words, empathetic relationships & social support = health & repair from a neurological perspective. Compassionate presence and support is healing: we rewire our body and brain for efficiency & optimal, outstanding functioning (our repair & immune system gets better, we think better, we learn, get more creative, able to collaborate and listen to other people, relate; we are also more resilient (able to deal with, and bounce off from, challenges). 

Thanks to emotional contagion, your network gradually becomes healthier, and is able to support its members through ups and downs, and celebrate the wins and the joys together.

First, take time to anchor relational safety in yourself (body, mind and spirit), so you are able to stay present in your body when you listen.

In order to hold space for another, you have to be seen, to have been given (or made for yourself) space, love, and compassion, first. And that requires you make time for this vital work. Here are a few ideas: Heart Coherence.

Try to take a break where you can relax into the present moment: take three deep breaths.

Then try this quick grounding exercise from therapist Emma McAdam: breathe, notice through your 5 senses)

What do you stand for? What is your value system?

Identifying your main drivers, values/needs/emotions, will give you a map to guide you through your life, in pleasure and in pain.

Or, as Mark Manson puts it in The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck, we need to choose what we value; because this will influence our emotions, which will influence our actions.

A reason why this matters: when we act according to a coherent, elevated emotion (joy, gratitude, love, etc.), our whole brain works as one: a coherent, healthy whole that connects all parts.

Different parts of the brain start beating rythmically together

The electro-magnetic field our heart and body emits becomes orderly (Oxford's Master of Physics' Jack Fraser explanation's of our electromagnetic field here).

Source: www.heartmath.com/science

It then stabilizes life conditions in the body by facilitating free-flowing communication (Understand What is at Play), and around us (The Observer Effect). It's all about vibrations, man! See this amazing video for a clear illustration of how sound (=beats per second = vibrations) order matter.

For a down-to-earth, relatable example, think of how you influence on your children, partner or friends, when you are upset and ranting - versus happy, kind and open. We simply respond to each other's emotional states. And think of the actions you take when you are feeling sad, ashamed or afraid - versus the ones you take when feeling amazing, hopeful and loving.

What are my values?

What are the top five of your values? What do you need to feel every month, week, day, to live an authentic life?

Values are time-based Needs (see NVC's list here) made universal. They also translate into Emotions, or (Bodily) Feelings, Sensations. For example, if I now have a need for Authenticity, the universal value (applicable to everyone, at all times) could be Truth. I could feel it as a clearing in my heart area, and a sense of self-confidence, with legs and feet anchored in the ground.

Your values come from your environment (upbringing/culture/exposure to experiences and reinforcement), or are uniquely specific to you (you came with a few when you were born) -typically our deeper personality, that comes up when we stop caring about what other people think: that unique 'feel' of you when you are alone or connected in the best conditions - when you are fully in your power, without the need to diminish yourself, nor anybody else, connected in recognition of our oneness of emotions, of struggle, and of evolution.

Values evolve from our initial conditioning and agreement. Our agreement to an existing reality can be unconsciously chosen -like in trauma, where intense emotions directly 'write' into our brain; or we could consciously choose, by admiring something or someone, what we value. Your value system may become more inclusive through bringing to light what you don't really agree with, but exists as truth within your system. Through an angle of curiosity and/or appreciation for what sits in you, you can expand. The travel starts within.

Close-up of grains of sand: the key word is diversity!

All deeper values are shared by everyone, we just rank them differently, with different expressions, at different times and in different places. So everyone is able to relate to ALL values (see one non-exhaustive list here: Non-Violent, Compassionate Intercultural Communication).

The reason we focus on Values is that thinking in universal terms allows us to see from a safe distance what our common humanity is, and what the long-term objective is.

We often solve many problems that we were stuck with, because when we humanize, we relax, and we think better: it is easier to think if we feel connected (check First, Relax: uniting heart and brain is good for our health and our thinking).

What we are after here is the deeper need (= the 'Why' of Simon Sinek). The details of the what, and how, are negotiable between all parties, and subject to change (to fit evolving circumstances). The 'relational glue' is being seen, and cared for, in our (sometimes beautiful, sometimes flawed) humanity.

How is your body feeling right now? What Value does it mean you have been embodying today?

What else do you need for the rest of the day?

You are a Creator

It is fundamental you know what you want/like, and understand what you feel/think of (especially repeatedly) has an effect on the life you are going to be living. So, what would you like to be feeling, repeatedly? What are the actions, feelings, situations, environments, people, that bring you joy? No matter how ridiculous, no matter how useless, no matter how grandiose, no matter how mundane..? All is well :)

There is a way to let this come up naturally:

Connect (with yourself, or let somebody else hold the space), let the tension out, get understood, have fun, relax, let go! Put some good music on, start dancing, draw, or go gardening, put on a nice cup of a drink you like, and start journaling, talking, expressing in dance or singing: observe what comes up! Focus on valuing positive intent, listening to the messages.

Anchor what you've learned: put your newly-found, precious values on an Action Plan, a Mood Board, a painting, into a dance, or a morning routine, so that you can remember the exhilaration of your goal into your mind, and 'imprint' the joy of the alignment between your value and your true self into your heart.

Write, sculp, talk about your discoveries, put postcards on your walls, whatever works for you. For example, I bought myself a giant turtle fruit bowl carved from wood to remind myself to take things slow, and enjoy life and its abundance.

Postcards with quotes are nice, apps, one-word new year resolutions, art objects, even special shoes (I have red ones for the energy and the drive), every thing can potentially remind you of your 'energy/bodymind feeling/need/value' goal.

But the best reminder are people: my daughter reminds me daily of love, enthusiasm, a fresh look on things, etc.

I personally do Action Plans and draw mood boards, because they work. Enthusiastic, deep longing needs felt in the joy and truth of who you are, happen - eventually. In terms of values: love, joy, etc. - whatever is strong enough now, or made strong enough over time and repetition, whatever you can believe with all the bones in your body, because it really is you, the ultimate joyful you, happens.

To read more about the effect your emotions have on your cells' DNA and on the world, look here: Understand What is at Play.

So let's get started.

What would you really, really like? (for a personal vibration of joy, or peace, or love, is contagious, and changes the world: that's when we cooperate, help and listen to each other).

Does our emotional state affect the order of particles in our body?

Social Bodymind Connection: Our minds are our bodies & our bodies are our minds + it’s a feedback loop: the mind influences the body, which influences the mind

This is the neurobiology of the mind-body connection, or how exactly do our emotions affect our body:

Candace B. Perth, a Research Professor in the Department of Physiology & Biophysics at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington, D.C. (Molecules of Emotion: the science behind mind body medicine, Scribner, NY, 1997, Candace Perth) discovered neuropeptides she calls 'the molecules of emotion': these are the molecules (the correct scientific term is 'ligand') emitted by the pituitary gland when we feel an emotion, which travel throughout the body and the blood and the cerebrospinal fluid to highly charged receptor areas, ‘nodal points’ along the spine (which match the chakras’ locations). There, they attach to cell receptors, therefore altering the cell functioning. These cells as a consequence ‘manufacture new proteins, make decisions about cell division, open or close ion channels, add or subtract energetic chemical groups like the phosphates – to name just a few [biochemical changes]’. 

Other researchers have found that when the receptors lock in those molecules of emotion on the surface of the cell and the whole cell changes as a result, the conductivity of the cell is altered (more or less conductive), the DNA within it winding (stressed) or unwinding (relaxed): our emotions change the way our cells behave.

Your emotional state affects your inner-body energy field; and the more coherent it is, the more conducive to healing, growth and repair.

Coherent doesn't necessarily means happy, but fully felt, in an atmosphere of safety, so that the body's wisdom takes over and lets the process complete itself: if coherent (meaning there is no resistance), an emotion will take up to 90 seconds to resolve itself in the body: think of children, who hurt themselves and cry, and are done quite quickly.

Safety also means that we remain aware of the lack of threat in the here-and-now surroundings, of our internal body energy field, of our breath as a haven - and if we get overwhelmed, that somebody else (a grounded person, who can stay in their body sensation and act as 'anchoring' for us) can keep us aware of the safety of 'here' while we go explore the 'there'. Because they are not afraid, and know it is good for us to go 'there', and love us for our courage to be vulnerable, it's the relationship that's healing, the safety of being loved no-matter-what (cf. attachment theory) that allows one to explore one's darkest corners, and bring back the brilliant insights that will emerge from this journey.

Deepak Chopra, who trained as a medical doctor, sums it up (in his 1989 book The Quantum Body - so this is really old news), "our body & mind are one. [Candace Perth] shows that our biochemical messengers act with intelligence by communicating information, orchestrating a vast complex of conscious & unconscious activities at any moment. This information transfer takes place over a network linking all of our systems & organs, engaging all of our molecules of emotion, as all the means of communication. What we see is an image of a 'mobile brain' - one that moves throughout our entire body, located in all places at once and not just in the head." "The mind is non-local, ever changing and dynamic, infinitely flexible. It is one gigantic loop, directing and admitting information simultaneously, intelligently guiding what we call life."

Beyond the physiological impact of emotions, Gabor Maté further adds that emotions and our health, are impacted by our (early & current) relationships, which are inscribed in a particular culture: a culture which only values individual strength, stoic courage, control, perseverance, and the accumulation of resources, fast - is a culture that will reinforce masks or armors of suffering courage worn day in & day out (until breakdowns, dis-ease or suicide), but also a culture which will devalue, abuse & take advantage of the sick and depressed 'weakest' (= not valued) by the 'strongest' (= the traumatized 'mask'-wearers posing as strong to get love, which they will receive only if they pretend they are always strong; so their last resort is to disconnect from their humanity/vulnerability, and hurt themselves or others). If we don't see pain where it is, we perpetuate the problem (not only where it is obvious: everyone knows suffering, fear, insecurity, anger, sadness, etc.). And it is about rising the health and happiness levels on this planet, realizing that peaceful relationships start at the smallest level: us.

So what can we do? Photons and the light of attention

Quantum biologist Vladimir Poponin and Peter Gariaev, at the Russian Academy of Sciences, published a paper in the US in 1995 about what was dubbed “The DNA Phantom Effect” experiments. Here is how it works:

The quantum biologist researchers put some photons (light particles/waves-forms) in a test tube, which naturally spread out in the tube in an unordered fashion.

They then added human DNA (which lies in all of our cells, quick reminder for the non-biologists among us) to the tube.

What happened left them shocked: the photons, or light particles, arranged themselves into a specific orderly pattern! (see my unorthodox attempt at a drawing below!)

The DNA caused the light particles to get ordered (photons are at the basis of most of our physical reality - refresher for the non-physicists).

The second part of the experiment is even more amazing:

When the DNA was removed from the test tube, the photons remained in order!

Which means DNA has a long-lasting influence on light particles...

For a much better version of these drawings, check this video out (in the first 3 minutes) on the so-called DNA phantom effect: Our "Junk" DNA holds astonishing powers.

‘Similar to "the matrix” that Max Planck identified more than 50 years earlier, as well as the effects suggested in ancient traditions’ (Greg Braden), cells (made of curled-up DNA strands) influence matter through an energy previously unrecognized' (>ours).

We all need care, love, and understanding, no matter how weak, weird, afraid, or 'negative' we are - from whomever is able and willing to provide such support, at that time; but let's start integrating a larger panel of values inside of each of us (and when we see others): weak and strong, shifting on a continuum, depending on the meaning of the relationship. Not sure how to start loving difficult others? Start here: Synergistic Relationships.

When enough leaders chose (you only need 10% of a given population to shift a culture) to value vulnerability in themselves & in others, listen to themselves & others in softness, intimacy & caring love - and to use the values of strength, control, courage, perseverance to keep peace and protect  the vulnerability of Life (in themselves & others); we will have shifted what it means to be any shape or form on this planet; we will have understood that life, no matter how unpredictable and vulnerable, is beautiful. We will have shifted, inside.

Who do you value, based on our (past & current) conditioning? 

What life expressions would you also want to value in yourself? In others?

Acknowledge the Wisdom of the Cycle: contraction, expansion

In every living system (us! or seasons, the sun and its planets, agriculture, periods), the alternating of expansion and contraction provide a movement to Life, to Creation. We contract (freeze our movement and energy, condense and concentrate it), only to bloom into new life again, with renewed insight & energy, gained from the rest.

When we have felt our emotions in a time of stillness, peaceful attention and self-love, and mourned what really mattered, we can prioritize what we really needed, give its rightful place in our newly expanded system (for example, if we discover we needed consideration, we can become even more considerate to ourselves and to others. If it was freedom, we can allow ourselves & others the maximum freedom to be who they are).

That was the message of all the original wisdoms: for self-sustaining, long-term, effortless action, we have to focus control onto ourselves. We can only inspire others. From the Buddhists' monkey mind that never stops, or Maya and the great illusion, through to Shakespeare's world is a stage and we are merely players: it is all about going from flghting or fearing one's dragon (our and others' flaws or imperfections), to riding our dragon: self-work to acknowledging the interconnection, of events-thoughts-emotions of our collective co-creation; and the role we each play in it, by giving our agreement and our contribution to this collective informational-emotional field.

What role are you playing? What values are you embodying? Can you allow yourself, and others, to expand in the acceptance, and integration, of more values? Of a more nuanced, diverse collective? This is what makes for health, and resilience, in any system: an orchestra has different instruments, and a conductor. All of the members, or elements, are good, worthy, and play a part in the whole. The leader knows that, has an overview, and keeps the balance with a life-enhancing attitude, the container.

Orchestra conductor Alondra de la Parra

We all repress and are unaware of some dimensions, informations, and emotions. We just need the space, the container, for a peaceful and inclusive awareness of the diversity and beauty that is in front of us. Where your attention goes, energy flows!

Witnessing beauty, acknowledging strength in the face of adversity, seeing the courage behind the pain, the strengh behind the anger, the excitement behind the fear; but also the dream beyond the disaster, the upcoming joys that will inevitably come after the tragedy, the sacredness of what is all around us, in us, beyond what we are currently thinking about; the eternity beyond death, the peace and delicacy of it all... - putting our attention on the invisible beauty behind reinforces, gives energy to the magnificence. See it. In all. Stop and catch yourself, and shift your gaze: admire the truth, in all its complexity, the paradox of it. The whole of it. Like us, the truth is multifaceted. And it allows for life, for this Divine Comedy.

So beyond our limited, fear-based, 'us vs. them', reptilian brain, fight-flight-freeze cultural and traumatic conditioning, what are those values humanity connects to? What are those feelings we all experience, or want to experience?

Emotions are sacred messengers

They are also the basis for our actions: we act because of what we feel, because of the meaning we attribute to information (safe, unsafe, interesting, etc.), and based on previous exposure/meaning and reinforcement (+ gut bacteria). We then 'consciously' select information that will be noticed by us (our RAS, or reticular activating system). 90% of our actions are initiated by our subconscious, and we only rationalize or explain them later, convincing ourselves we are logical. What's logical is recognizing how we are fooling ourselves, and we are really functioning based on limited information most of the time.

It is good to realize that most of us perceive a limited range of reality, and the perimeter is delineated by (bodily & emotional) fear.

So what does relational fear look like? In survival mode, we don't see the bigger picture, and are reactive (and thus easy to manipulate: we just have to be scared and we'll go where they want us to go; instead of seeing the larger picture, and calmly deciding), we go back to our default conditioning (prior to learning = to our culture, default personality), to the reptilian brain's 'us vs. them', to the amygdala hyjack of putting the whole system in defense. In stress, we isolate, we look for safety, we fight, flight, or freeze - and sometimes, we get stuck. We can't learn, repair, heal, nor grow. We can't think properly (with, again, the big picture), create, laugh, play, nor collaborate with others. This seriously limits our capacity for development. It does make us focused, but just on our own needs; we don't have emotional bandwidth to take on anybody else's into account.

What are we to do, to get back to relational safety?

The more we relax, the safer we feel, the more emotions can come up - the more we can take risks to go to the edge of our comfort zone. For example, in a relationship, it is when we feel safe enough that the real old mess comes up. A child's safe bond with their mother allows them to be fully themselves, which is sometimes translated into acting out the repressed emotions that they couldn't express in a less safe collective environment, like school. The less the pressure to be a certain way to be loved, the more true emotions can come up.

We can only heal what we can feel, in the safety of still being loved when we do feel. Emotions have to be felt in the relational, loving safety of the here-and-now, for us to be able to move on in a healthy way. If you are alone, know your emotions are good, healthy, and a valued treasure: they point to the truth of your deepest, higher self. You can cherish the inner child that is showing her/himself, and hold your emotion in the love that you would a small child that was crying, or a hurt baby animal. If you find a person (a safe friend or family member, a therapist) or a safely held group to hold space (still be present and love you, and feel safe themselves because they know it is not about them, no matter how it looks - and feel safe enough to just listen to your pain without putting themselves in the story; and can get you back to feeling yourself without going into perspective too soon) while you are feeling an accumulated emotion just waiting to come out, you are lucky: cherish your vulnerability just the same, and feel the safety and the love of the person or group that is holding you.

Stressful information is always limited, incomplete information. Overwhelming fear derives from a lack of full understanding of the full situation; when one has access to enough resourcing information and emotion, fear becomes useful feedback. So the question becomes: if we feel fear about something, what information are we missing here? Whose deeper needs are we omitting, neglecting, that would make the whole system healthier? It is not about denial, control, nor shaming fear itself, nor other people: it's about listening carefully, then figuring out what we are missing - why is the signal still pulling on our leg? How do we make the 3D puzzle more complete? Do we need to add other dimensions? How do we get into a state of accessing the wisdom of these other dimensions? Love could be seen as another dimension than the physical: an invisible layer that modifies everything, that amplifies life-sustaining structures. Empty space has been shown to be geometrical. Peace, love, joy or compassion are not just words: these contagious emotions modify the structure, the organization of life. Just look at the skin irrigation, eye, mouth symmetry, body balance and breathing harmony of someone who has been deeply honored, loved and listened to, the way they really are. Beauty just shines out! They are litterally brighter, healthier, more stable, more here. We do something when we search for the good in others, while still holding a place of not knowing for what we don't fully understand - yet. We will get to understanding our common humanity, if we take the time to ask, to really listen to them - because we feel safe, ourselves. So it's almost a social mission to get to deeper safety with who we are ourselves, and to including more of the previously repressed parts into our awareness - so that we can be there for others  - and so that we are more connected ourselves with the earth, the universe, all people, and all the good that exists. There is enough good-ness, enough safety, enough connection, enough perspective to sustain the pain and the fear, to hold it, listen to it, rock it, and integrate it, so it can transform, in the light of so much safety. Then we become a connecting, a healing (back to a feeling of 'whole'-ness) influence on this planet. Threat gives you a tunnel vision; you want to enlarge the scope of what you can see and feel.

Your loved ones (+ the part of you that is scared) need your commitment to keep it safe, and smart, and inclusive/loving - for all of us. Listen to the emotion, take care of the weakest, the most hurt, in a loving and peaceful way. If you can.

And if you can't, disconnect for a while.

Take distance, get rid of what your system cannot handle right now, get back to your identity before the trigger tipped you off balance (imagine you are physically throwing your emotion into the ground, or blowing it away, letting it pass like a cloud that goes through you but you don't hold onto it - there is a lot of body work that can give you tools for that, or imagine your own - refocus on your inner body awareness, take in your immediate environment with your 5 senses, situate yourself: look in front of you, to the sides, behind, to the floor, and to the ceiling: you are safe, here, now; observe your breath, follow it inside your body, follow its path outside, and back in again - imagine you are massaging your inner body with your warm breath, that it brings you peace).

Then you can refocus on what you do like in the world, in yourself (and it can be something as simple as feeling the weight of your body on the chair or floor, or having the ability to breathe and experience this life! - or it can be listing 30 people that have had a positive influence on your life and feeling grateful). This way, you are growing the size of a safe, grateful, happy feeling of connection -inner and outer-, and diminishing the size of the threat. So that from your safe sense of you, you are able to witness in compassion, feel the interconnection, and act consciously, from your body now, and with clarity of mind.

The world needs leaders with healthy, full-on thinking, with their minds + hearts active, to be able to hear the deeper needs behind emotions - theirs and others. It is sustainable, and then we are free to act, and make fully informed decisions.

Nothing is fixed, everything is up to us, Together.

So how do you alternate personal responsibility-taking when expanding, and healing and support when contracting?

How do you want to feel in the next couple of hours? (in the next few days/weeks/months? generally this year? (for the longer term, it might be useful to create or use reminders to how you like to feel when you are your best self - here a few examples: Trust All is Well on its Way).